Almonds fucking suck
Definitely one of the worst nuts
They don't taste all that great,
But people still will over rate
They go crazy, and think they're tasty, they're tastebuds really seem quite hazy
They like the "milk", but it's only juice; they really must have a screw loose
They may be healthy, but they aren't stealthy-- their taste stands right out to me

Almonds fucking suck
Definitely one of the worst nuts
I hate them in slivers, or in morsels,
Or when they're whole, even moreso
You can take them and shove them up your butt.

Almonds fucking suck.
I said, almonds fucking suck.
I hate them in slivers, or in morsels,
Or when they're whole, even more so
You can take them and shove them up your butt.

Almonds aren't really a nut
I know that's what you've been told but
you've been duped by the drupes
what other lies have we been told?
What do you do when you feel like a nut?
Almond Joys don't have them
your life is a lie
what can you do
when your world comes undone
words have no meaning
lay down and die
peanuts are a legume
take that knowledge with you to your tomb
George Washington Carver is only surpreme
at finding more uses for a bean
almonds aren't really a nut
neither are coconuts
neither are peanuts
you've been played for a fool

I got the idea for a song about a boyfriend who is exceptionally bad at listening, and is also a bit of an idiot. Like me!

Lyrics:
I don't think you're crazy
is what i would have said if i had a leg to stand on
(i don't)

i don't think you're crazy
isn't it obvious that neither one of us
can hold it back, keep it on track no more?
ayhhh

i don't think you're crazy
and i thought i heard what i thought i heard
what did I say? what did she say to me?

one more time is crazy
did she want almond nuts? it's the end of us
or it would have been if i ever started listening
yeah yeah yeah yeah

did she say?
i can't recall
maybe it's fate
now after all
but i digress
we got off track
i'll clean this mess
and get her back!

(author's notes: he won't)

i don't think you're crazy
and i thought i heard what i thought i heard
what did I say? what did she say to me?

one more time is crazy
did she want almond nuts? it's the end of us
or it would have been if i ever started listening

find the lover in my little heart
test the waters of the giving art
maybe I was meant to be
exactly what I am

scan horizons with my sharpened eyes
somewhere out there in the purple skies
sittin underneath the mango tree
dappled love its only you and me

almond of my eye
twist me into light
give me more than I could ever give myself
give you all my life