You there, ignominious quartz creature! For Tuesdays and Aledays only, you can bring a family of five to Terrace de Rock's Classic Human Music Reenactment night, 50% off all coal entrees! Dine on our specialized rockshrimp courses and enjoy a dessert of cooled coral magma! The chef can guarantee an 80% chance your meal will NOT have Magnetic, Seismic or Gravitronic wastes!
For entertainment, we have two human musicians chained to the stage to play an endlessly looping segment of Tyrian's planetary anthem using quaint and authentic Earth instruments (Earth instruments are not certified authentic)! Let the ambiance of their droning tonal melodies enrich your gold veins and tickle your silver bone with the mighty purr of hertzes far above our hearing range! Kids, feel free to pelt them with your coloured clayons while you wait for drinks to be served! At the end of the night a contest will be held to see which family decorated the humans in the most bland of colours and their entire meal will be FREE OF CHARGE!
So what are you waiting for? Get your hilly hiney down to Terrace de Rock TODAY! (Today is Sunday, don't go today.)