Postcards from the Uncanny Valley

posted in OHC146 on Jul 28, 2011
I put fx on my voice to hide the fact that im a wanker


your girl looks like a living doll, attraction there is lost on me
but i admit i would still do her out of curiosity
monstrosity there i was unprepared for her stare
devoid of hope but not annoyed, and not scared
beauty there, cant be denied i suppose
but when she stops talkin, its a bit like she froze
im not sure what she wears on her head is human hair
so much make up i shout "can you hear me underthere"
yeah under more rubble than a chillian miner
but damn son, even her kleenex is designer
i suspect if you direct your cock to her poop chute
her eyes go red like "does not compute!"
she aint ginger, but not sure she has a soul
when she stares daggers, them blades are cold
but when she comes round and we chat for a while
i know for a fact this aint smarter child

post card from the uncanny valley
girls aint how they make em back home
postcard from the uncanny valley
hold their hands, still feel alone
post card from the uncanny valley
disconnect yet you still remain errect
post card from the uncanny valley
dont robots short circuit if they get wet?

something is amiss when she poses for a picture
she gets angry at the camera, looks like she might hitcha
but when she gets your shots back on her cpu
and has a word with them, its like, damn dude
its true though i know, she got a human brain
you shouldnt fuck robots when a robot you aint
and vice versa, thats just my POV
but i repeat its amiss when shes lookin at me
facial feature recognition, it is missin
i am wishin that i was in the position
of having an hour, a towel, some soap and a tub
of hot water with which i would proceed to scrub
wanna see the human underneath, otherwise
may as well replace you with skype. and a fleshlight
so good night living doll, you look almost real
the sad thing here? i know for a fact that you feel


posted in OHC103 on Sep 23, 2010
i need to get round to doing a daft entry i think.

spaceship equiped with friends and foes
many arrays and those that know
how to compute, i just reboot
another grunt rockin a space suit
as we expore the planets outer core
i wander of, and take a fall
violent landing, call me injury
my head is dazed i feel fatigued
look above, at the nook now gaping
and wonder how i can get to escaping
waking now, im seeing stars
more than usual in space this far
my eyelids part, i check my tools
the light reflects of athousand jewels
it looks so cool, treasure beyond compare
i signal my comrades, they aint aware

trapped in space, untold wealth
fortune gleams as i lose health
bleeding out, my fading light
gives to me an amazing site

wrist mounted coms, oh no is gone
the gravity is strong, oh how i long
for a jetpack, so escape with stacks
maybe now i can buy my life back
racked with pain, can barely move
as i think back on a life of abuse
resign myself to my fading life
to be honest this is a good way to die
ruptured lungs, i cough up blood
the beauty here shouldnt be so good
i think i should try launch a flare
look up again, and the hole aint there
another cave in, im clandestine
the scenery here, im ingestine
as the leds from my life support
report back to me with little retort

Bad Decision

posted in OHC101 on Sep 09, 2010
I decided to do an instrumental, then i decided to make a beat, then i hated everything i wrote, then I decided to unloop the beat and submit it. Im running on a platform of taxbreaks for rage-quitters.


posted in OHC100 on Sep 02, 2010

goodbye world, you actually sucked
guess what deziens, you STRAIGHT outta luck
goodbye world, got no chance to save the day
i had a choice like kain and i did it my way

cleaved the universe it was straight unrehearsed
wesa gonna need us an infinity sized hearst
to tow away, this broken dimension
oh, by the by, did i forget to mention
it was me who destroyed it, the giggling robit
programmed to be a hero but you no i done avoided it
my circuits spat a song that was logic to my ears
reality outstayed its welcome by years
so i travelled at the speed of light looking for a fight
found the focus of your trouble, found the key to your plight
i was outta sight, straight saving the day
each cog was worth the fortune that you paid
with my laser beams, it was obscene i cleaved
the cancer at the centre of the verse, do believe
i seen god in the aftermath, he offered me a path
in heinsight god talkin to a mecha makes me laugh

he suggest a continue, maybe even a reboot
i responded with 3 words: DOES NOT COMPUTE
had a chance to save you all, learn of all lives truths
i responded with 3 words: DOES NOT COMPUTE

It might seem shady but you built me this way
to keep any and all threats at bay
evil sway and disasters, fix em like a robit plaster
the safety of everything, that was my master
i can see machine elves, im fighting for your health
and when offered the chance to save you all from yourselves
i had to take it, plunge existance to the deep
dont worry my pretties, itll be like your asleep
dont worry to much, dont be forlorn
remember what it was like before you all were born?
well guess what?! now you get to relive
live is not the word that is operative
im a sword guys, you shoulda kept me in a sheaf
when this borg dreams, he dreams with teeth
so now we all go to sleep, and i know it seems cold
thats what you get for puttin your fate in the hands of me sans soul

Vegas Aint Orlando

posted in OHC097 on Aug 12, 2010
Sorry About the Mic quality guys. I recorded it in my garage, couldnt wake me mum lol

no matter where we go, its an adventure, yes our tenyeur
maybe transit didnt plan it cept in my like dreams forever
im clever, but whatever i aint as clever as you
thats why we make a good one plus 2
coz attached to me theres a monkey on my back
stacked up higher on my head it cackles and laughs
that just makes you giggle, girl, you gotta cute wiggle
me and my desire with you like a sammich in the middle
but your far away, my foray into your day
only lasted as long as i can say to your face
gosh your pretty, everything feels nice
only had a week to try and treat you just right
night time came, on a hot summers eve
i saw green stars, and i couldnt believe
so thanks again, for bein so beautiful
you made being broken seem pretty damn cool

and i dont think theyd blame us if we went to vegas
and our relationship status was no longer nameless
coz im feeling kinda blameless not wanting to forsake this
or class as a mistake this id much rather remake this
memory i have castin back up to our first kiss
schismed in somehow lips so soft taste like bliss
sup baby girl, how are you doing little miss
if you hear this song well then i really hope you like this

took a sec to catch you, try attatch you to my issue
didnt spit sick this time no alergies no need for tissues
nothing standing in the way, it was my fault before
i realise people sumize im the bettie davis eyes of nerdcore
fo rsure im cocky but it is what it is
but i paid for this i suffered a diss
i found us a noterary the cost will not be monetary
to take some vows that will lead us to a cemetary
this isnt a proposal i suppose that would be crass
this is just some song for a competition lass
but when i saw the topic, i thought of you and naught else
gave me a splatter of good health, in my memories ive got wealth
might be on the shelf for another year or til october
and its not like your gonna need some time to think it over
and sorry compo guys, i know that vegas aint orlando
who's this song about? well maybe only matt and shael know

Red Alert! ive been here before!
damn you orlando! damn you nerdcore!

Inhale Heaven

posted in OHC087 on Jun 03, 2010
sssssshhhhh, cant wake me mum up!
god i need a smoke.
behold, words:

i need to inhale my little peice of heaven
by now im usually on ciggy 27
but trying to quit, must try harder
cigarettes are my nirvana

like ambrosia goin down my throat
i flick open a pack, i know ill choke
and cough and weeze, but its ok
i paid for the way to make my day
quite addicted, and happily so
cancer grows as i spit this flow
oh no i sigh, and start to cry
tears swell in my eyes no surprize
as i summize, and check my gil
got no cash, ive paid my bills
with nought to spare so be aware
without nicotene i get cranky scared
another man, held back by smoke
grey cage solidified when i take a toke
its no joke now i cant replenish the chains
mister hyde will escape, mister hyde will rage

desperate, search and scour my squaller
for a modicum, percentage of a doller
holler at me if you got a cigarette
and ill be your friend for life, no regrets
im serious, gnawing at my nails
forarms scratch as i regail
all in attendence a tail of woe
its all lies, ijust want a smoke
rolling papers, nothing to fill
do you got something thatll fitthe bill
check the ashtray, smoke the ends
feelin sick like i got the bends
desperate, ill say it again
literally, im in some pain
addiction strikes worst of all in the night
im tired and hyped, save me from this plight

In space, noone can hear you rap

posted in OHC085 on May 20, 2010
sorry its all whispery vocals, cant wake the rest of the house up. *sigh*

the ether calls im back once more
to rock a mic to the planets core
and cause a fall, explode to space
celestial bodies loose their place

intergalacticly defaced, thats how i do
earth cant be saved by a mining crew
the great abyss is my back yard
other mcs be trying hard

satillite rappers, gravitate round me
like so much space junk, that debris
knowin me, i will implode
say hello to a new black hole

i cause a fall, explode to space
celestial bodies loose their place
the ether calls im back once more
to rock a mic tothe planets core

join me my friends, trip o your lives
inner space, lets see inside
of all your souls when you see the hole
that exists around our planet of poles
to much to take, cries magnified
but this aint alogorical to suicide
brain is fried, from seeing the size
of the emptiness i have on supply
breath out a sigh, as lungs collapse
prepare yourself for a full body prolapse
carcass drifts, infinite void
hurtles past galaxies ive destroyed
with mumbled raps, still on the attack
coz venus girls are all straight stacked
as a matter of fact, there is no end
so my increasing ego pays dividends

hold your breath
count to ten
do it over and over again
hold your breath
count some more
rockin with the space man of nerdcore

and dont pretend, thatchu gotta map
in space, noone can hear you rap
check the stats, and mine for ore
gold deposits in that asteroid score
did i say gold? i meant this beat
aliens everywhere admit defeat
cant distract this or subtract this
the hunger grows i am galactus
and the silver surfer intertwined
throw in charles xaviers mind
and be so kind, yeah be so nice
as to avoid gettin hit my micrometeories
lets do it right, lets get a little bold
jump without coordinates into a worm hole
boldly rhyming where none have before
boldly exploring the frontier of nerdcore

Lets not die together, eh?

posted in OHC084 on May 13, 2010
this is the meanest song whot i have ever writted.

the plane is goin down,the bomb is blowin up
the volcano soon will straight errupt
but your love is corrupt, its history
dont spent your last monets with me
also gee, it would be a regret
to kiss you instead of a last cigarette
i do detest, your desperation
saygoodbye to your me, and goodbye to your nation

the end is comin
dont cuddle up to me
you had your chance
when we had eternity

doomsday scenario, alien attack
i noticed my flow improved with you of my back
reasons stacked, now its the end of the world
forget yougirl, our love has unfurled
like thisplanets core, au revoir mi amoour
whats french present tense for the word abhour
cataclismic failure, like our love
say hello to solitary death from above

is this a little harsh, take into account the timing
when we could die as quick as lightenin
its frightening aint it, prospect of solitude
give unto you a gift, go kick rocks dude
spend your final moments cryin yourself deaf
while i wallow in a lack of regret
and dont forget, you did this your self
LOL, at lest you gotyour health

B-Type - Hunter

posted in OHC083 on May 06, 2010
im armed with silver, fully equipped
but hecould crush a rifle with just a flick of the wrist
why do i do this? i got responsibility
the burden of knowledge is weighing on me
and now i know, i cant help but try
my only advantage is knowing why i might die
but thats more than its victims had at least
so i'll use what i can to slay this beast
hopelessly outmatched, in strength and guile
but its not the first time ive been on this trial

ive done research, i have no guilt
the human host is aware he's killed
im not thrilled, i take no pleasure
dont hunt for sport, this isnt leisure
or for treasure, its necessity
somebody out there gotta be protectin these
lambs to the slaughte, your sons and daughters
they call me insane, i got a court order
an outcast, and ill let that last
shun the future and forget the past
my die are cast, i know my role
its time to attack, time to be bold
injuries, they come like the rain
i vindicate, to wash away the pain
and as the carcass transmorgrifies
im quite inside, with my reward of pride


posted in OHC082 on Apr 29, 2010
i keep the streets clean dont mess with me
im an unstoppable criminal hansom vigilante
aint gotta cape but i conceal myself
because i worry for my families health
im makin enemies, yes thank you geez
it means imdoin right, cleanin up the sleaze
bring too their knees, the dons of crime
i can do this easily, like rhyme
they will do time, i leave evidence
you can guarantee im not on the fence
i do this right, leave not to error
crime is civilization, i am terror
your borough is safe, i got it sorted
don von crime is straight deported
retorted? no, i think not
you aint got a word for the equip i got

crimes got nothin, dontcha know me
im the street sweeper, straight vigilante
the detrius, that presents itself
i am bad for its health

this verse unrehearsed, but nevertheless
ill take care of business, so dont stress
i got some beef with the mafioso
they try strike back, but its a no go
armed with a broom, i clean the streets
were i a hacker theyd call me l335
like peter parter up in this peace
the fire i bring it wont cease
call the police,they always be late
but they the real heroes, i dont hate
and dont escape,they know who i be
we on good terms, but im a fugutive
vigantee, i guess thats the life
its what i gotta pay to ease the strife
wont take a wife, coz of the danger
but i do got a mole hooked with a pager

I Wanna be a gun

posted in OHC081 on Apr 22, 2010
this sucks! 3rd upload
im anacronist, far to simplistic
if you armed whit me, youll be a statistic
i tried to dismiss it, but i gotta admit
im not to be equipped, i wont be in your kit
this is the land of the rifle, the land of the gun
im for hobbiests now, sharp edges for fun
elven versions of me are owned by scene kids
i am even mocked when i rock the olympics
i gotta retire, to the sound of gun fire
pistol vs schimtar, the cowboy wont perspire
he dosnt give a care about your ninja tricks
coz when he likes he can shoot you in the dick!
i tell you what, i do not like it
even guns are seen as way more phallic
guns are coming, i know youll hear em
but im in a glass case, that museum

my time, has come and gone
swordsmen, have come and gone
gunmen, their time is now
time to retire, oh and how

cannonball my way into the pool of fail
im now naught more than a historic detail
warcraft derailed, and bound to tales
or tiny models not built to scale
transmorgrification, whats a word like that
when you aint an animal like a dog or a cat
but you gotta shape shift, into something more
once again, i wanna rock a war
high score on doom? yo not with a dagger
i would be more dangerous if i was a tagger
so im quite happy to give up on my guild
if i was a gun, id get the kill
i need a wizard, merlin or something
someone who can sort out my longing
im not sing songing, i say the truth
if swords are gentlemanly, iwanna be uncooth

Take Me Home

posted in OHC080 on Apr 15, 2010
awww cute

just coz im on display
dosnt mean you should gawk
just coz my lips dont sway
dosnt mean i cant talk
just coz my close all fit
dosnt mean you should shove
just coz ive gotno bits
dosnt mean i cant love

i watch from windows on rotation
free of the need for ejaculation
im the perfect man, or so i thought
glancing out at the food court
retorts and giggles echo through
and bounce to our plastic crew
we remenise and compare notes
about whos tongues wed let down our throats
and we boast, there is no stopping us
even though we lack one asophogus
between us, but when you cant move
bragadocio is major entertainment dude
but im a romantic at heart, forgive the falicy
insinuating that the be blood pumpin round me
i want a consumer to call my own
instead ofleaving me naked, take me home!


time was, we could dream a dream
back when art deco was scene
we could be seen, in studios
watchin you write, inspiring prose
but now im aghast at the level of tact
is absent when you see a peen i lack
now whats the crack, i like to chit chat
ill hapilly hold the weight o your back back
i got a dozen points of articulation
and a dozen dozen reasons for frustration
the coffee girl, the jogging coach
the hottopic clerk, who smokes the roach
dont even care that im stood staring
more interested in what im wearing
which by the by, dosnt even matter
clothed or naked, ill take the latter
coz what you see is what you get
gosh, will anyone choose me yet?
Votes (7)
Round Date
OHC146 Jul 28, 2011
OHC103 Sep 23, 2010
OHC100 Sep 02, 2010
DDC06 Aug 27, 2010
OHC097 Aug 12, 2010
OHC085 May 20, 2010
OHC080 Apr 15, 2010