Meet the Crew

posted in OHC117 on Jan 06, 2011
Everyone's on board, ready to set off on an adventure. With you, the adventurer. Meeting these people for the first time. BECAUSE IT'S CONVENIENT FOR THE PLOT THAT'S WHY.

Meeting the Mastermind

posted in OHC096 on Aug 05, 2010
You've beaten all the minions, slayed all the foes, etc etc. Whatever, this is the big guy now, and OBVIOUSLY the only reason he sent all his lesser comrades after you was to prepare you for this encounter. So it's fair. Of course.

*instakills half your party*


Obligatory Library Level

posted in OHC089 on Jun 17, 2010
There's no way around it, something important is in the library and you're going to have to play your way through it, even though the entire area looks like it was just copied and pasted 400,000 times. Maybe you'll find some porn, that might just make it worth it.

The Glorious Leader

posted in OHC069 on Jan 28, 2010
He approaches his throne, the heads of hundreds slain along his path. There is only one leader, only one throne, only one New York Times Sunday Crossword, and one major dump to take.

Parting Ways

posted in OHC067 on Jan 14, 2010
You have defeated the evil corporation, the dragon, the mage, the 5-dollar footlong, a few innocent bystanders and several thousand woodland creatures, and made some new friends along the way. Despite what you've all been through, for some reason you're all going to different places and probably will never meet again.

Until the sequel.

Massteroids II

posted in OHC024 on Feb 26, 2009
In a world where the only forces are good, evil, and gravity, one man must find a way through infinite fields of time, space, and rock.

Page Nine

posted in OHC002 on Feb 07, 2008
You open the second door.

A rush of multicoloured light floods your vision. It gets brighter until suddenly it is dark. You feel something rough on your face and are surrounded by an earthy odor. You get up and brush yourself off, seeing a dark, impenetrable forest.

You turn around.

Before you is a lush plain, dotted in the distance with farms, castles, and beautiful monsters waiting to be rescued from ravenous princesses. Behold this land, for it is the setting you have chosen, and embark on 256 pages (well, 254 now) of nail-biting decision-making.

To venture into the forest, turn to page 91.

To head out onto the plains, turn to page 65.

To completely ruin the story, turn to page 7.